Gosh I missed writing - the pressure of not having emptied my thoughts out into words had really gotten the better of me. As I write, I wonder how unknowingly and how sub-conciusly we train our minds everyday to react and respond to things.. we train out hearts to feel in certain ways and our instincts are thus formed. I guess this is the reason why we grow wiser as we grow older- it must be just knowing ourselves more and knowing how we feel about things and how we view and understand the world.
This very moment I realise I am somewhere in between the old and the new. The old being blogging and the new being blogging with my husband next to me in the same room. This is actually the very first time that I am writing with someone else in the room with me- its a very strange feeling and infact quite interesting to delve into deeper.
In the last month, my world has changed almost dimensionally and unrecognizably. Not only am I married and living in a new house, in a new city, I have a new job, new responsibilities and a new version of my self to grow into. Marriage to me was all about being with someone I love and trust. But marraige has opened up a whole new world for me and unlike in the song by Alladin its much more than shining, shimmering and splendid. Its a whole lot of news, tingles and oh my gods!. But in all these new things that I am learning to learn and accept, the old keeps wanting to come over and take precedence. The old me, the one who did spent weekends with friends out of the house watching movies or shopping or just lounging, the old who watched movies whenever possible in her private screen, the old who listened to music while dreaming off into the future, the old who knew where to get the best coffee in town, the old who could just get into a rick and head off to the mall or to the library or the stores. Its this tussle between the old and the new that sometimes can leave a person in void and in a sense of confusion. Confusion as to where one belongs and where one wants to be. Confusion as to becoming the person one thought one could never become and confusion of deciding which life to lead and what choices to make.
Its also in these confusions that one finds oneself- one finds the signals which are green and realises whihc ones are red. It can be said that self discovery is the only thing we can be sure of in this world or it can be argued that its the luxury of the priviledged not fighting for daily existence. Whichever the case, for me this journey holds a lot of meaning and is perhaps the only guiding light that I believe in. Knowing myself better helps me understand the world better. It helps me accept truths easier and also recognize learnings clearer.
The balance between the old and the new is infact the journey from who we are to who we can grow to be. Its the simple choices, the day to day reactions, the acceptances and the rejections that pave our way to the next step. Some believe that this journey is already written, I get the feeling we are writing it as we go!
This very moment I realise I am somewhere in between the old and the new. The old being blogging and the new being blogging with my husband next to me in the same room. This is actually the very first time that I am writing with someone else in the room with me- its a very strange feeling and infact quite interesting to delve into deeper.
In the last month, my world has changed almost dimensionally and unrecognizably. Not only am I married and living in a new house, in a new city, I have a new job, new responsibilities and a new version of my self to grow into. Marriage to me was all about being with someone I love and trust. But marraige has opened up a whole new world for me and unlike in the song by Alladin its much more than shining, shimmering and splendid. Its a whole lot of news, tingles and oh my gods!. But in all these new things that I am learning to learn and accept, the old keeps wanting to come over and take precedence. The old me, the one who did spent weekends with friends out of the house watching movies or shopping or just lounging, the old who watched movies whenever possible in her private screen, the old who listened to music while dreaming off into the future, the old who knew where to get the best coffee in town, the old who could just get into a rick and head off to the mall or to the library or the stores. Its this tussle between the old and the new that sometimes can leave a person in void and in a sense of confusion. Confusion as to where one belongs and where one wants to be. Confusion as to becoming the person one thought one could never become and confusion of deciding which life to lead and what choices to make.
Its also in these confusions that one finds oneself- one finds the signals which are green and realises whihc ones are red. It can be said that self discovery is the only thing we can be sure of in this world or it can be argued that its the luxury of the priviledged not fighting for daily existence. Whichever the case, for me this journey holds a lot of meaning and is perhaps the only guiding light that I believe in. Knowing myself better helps me understand the world better. It helps me accept truths easier and also recognize learnings clearer.
The balance between the old and the new is infact the journey from who we are to who we can grow to be. Its the simple choices, the day to day reactions, the acceptances and the rejections that pave our way to the next step. Some believe that this journey is already written, I get the feeling we are writing it as we go!
